A
sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank
is
installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling
customers to
withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using
this new
facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when
accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE
&
FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate
steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window
with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang
up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7.
Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on
the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write deposit amount in check register and place receipt in
back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20.
Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into
the slot provided.
23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver
waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
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