President Clinton had just died and wound up at the Pearly Gates of Heaven..."And who might you be?" inquires St. Peter. "It's me, Bill
Clinton, formerly the President of the United States and
Leader of the Free World.""Oh...Mr....... President! What may I do for you?" asks St.
Peter. "I'd like to come in," replies Clinton."Sure," says the Saint. "But first, you have to confess your
sins. What bad things have you done in your life?"Clinton bites his lip and answers, "Well, I tried marijuana,
but you can't call it 'dope-smoking' because I didn't inhale.
There were inappropriate extramarital relationships, but you
can't call it 'adultery' because I didn't have full 'sexual
relations.' And I made some statements that were misleading,
but legally accurate, but you can't call it 'bearing false
witness' because, as far as I know, it didn't meet the legal
standard of perjury."
With that, St. Peter consults the Book of Life briefly, and
declares, "OK, here's the deal. We'll send you somewhere hot,
but we won't call it 'Hell.' You'll be there indefinitely, but
we won't call it 'eternity.' And when you enter, you don't have
to abandon all hope, just don't hold your breath waiting for it to
freeze over."
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