Today I Was...
Monday I was angry with the sun.
It was always in my eyes - no fun.
Tuesday I was angry with the rain.
Forgot my umbrella - what a pain.
Wednesday
A Geezer's Gripings
I'm getting older, nature deems.
I'm coming apart at the seams.
The things that never hurt before
Now multiply, make more, and more.
My ha
All About Girls
Girls!
They protect you!
Mind you, correct you!
In ways you never thought of,
They enslave you, caress you!
You do whatever they say,
So
If Four Is A Party So This Is A Parade
I have one too many personalities,
I don't know which one is me,
So if I'm nice at first, and then I'm mean,
You just met Sally, and then met Steve
Candy Tree Shops
If ice cream could be grown on the treetop,
Tiny tummies would be liking it lots.
Any fruit flavor
For all to savor.
Do stop by at the ice cream t
A Cow And A Rooster Went Dancing
A cow and a rooster went dancing
One night by the light of the moon.
They'd arranged to meet in the barnyard
With the crickets providing the tune.
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Big, fat Santa bounded through my halls;
He made everything shake, even the walls.
He ate all my cookies,
Drank all my milk;
He had heavy
The Glass Eye
The joke was very funny
She laughed a lot of tears
When suddenly her eye fell out
And landed in her beer
She fished around
with her puddi
A Daschund Dog
My dog has a special twist,
She can't go a day unkissed.
She's not a normal dog,
Her furs the color of a log.
Her tails as pointy
Listen To Mum
I remember when I was small and cool,
I was always playing truant from school.
My mum used to say,
"You'll regret it one day
When you grow up to b
The Day I Fell In The Pool...
I never saw it coming
I was such a fool
It changed me completely
The day I fell in the pool!
My friend started to laugh
And I started to
The Life Of A Cupcake
They put me in the oven to bake.
Me, a deprived and miserable cake.
Feeling the heat, I started to bubble.
Watching the others, I knew I was in tro
The Most Horrible Treat
It seemed like a good idea at the time,
But looking back now I cringe just a little.
I was so hungry and it WAS once mine,
The week-old milk and pe
Deer And Beer
Look at that deer
Man I am craving a beer
He has a nice rack
It is enough to give someone a heart attack
Maybe later I will buy a six-pack of ligh
My Brother Can Eat
My brother can eat.
Hide your fruits,
Hide your snacks,
Hide all your treats.
It doesn't matter what it is.
Y'all don't understand.
The
Monkey In The Middle
There once was a monkey in a city's zoo,
who dreamed of the outside sun.
He did like hitting kids with poo,
but he felt that that's been done.
&nb
The Horse Ride
Taking a romantic ride today,
We sat upon the wagon.
Suddenly the horse lifted his tail
And we heard a roaring dragon!
The deafening sound
Home Alone
My family's gone; there's no one home.
It's only me who's home alone.
I shouldn't hear a single squeak.
There shouldn't even be a creak,
S
Doggy Heaven
All doggies go to heaven (or so I've been told).
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight?
Why, because the
A Dieter's Desire
Oh my soul, be thou quiet
This is not 'another diet'
Just a program of exchange
Though some things do seem strange
Raw vegetables and 'bro