Silly Poems

Today I Was...
Monday I was angry with the sun. It was always in my eyes - no fun. Tuesday I was angry with the rain. Forgot my umbrella - what a pain. Wednesday

A Geezer's Gripings
I'm getting older, nature deems. I'm coming apart at the seams. The things that never hurt before Now multiply, make more, and more.   My ha

All About Girls
Girls! They protect you! Mind you, correct you! In ways you never thought of, They enslave you, caress you!   You do whatever they say, So

If Four Is A Party So This Is A Parade
I have one too many personalities, I don't know which one is me, So if I'm nice at first, and then I'm mean, You just met Sally, and then met Steve

Candy Tree Shops
If ice cream could be grown on the treetop, Tiny tummies would be liking it lots. Any fruit flavor For all to savor. Do stop by at the ice cream t

A Cow And A Rooster Went Dancing
A cow and a rooster went dancing One night by the light of the moon. They'd arranged to meet in the barnyard With the crickets providing the tune.

The Nightmare Before Christmas
Big, fat Santa bounded through my halls; He made everything shake, even the walls. He ate all my cookies, Drank all my milk;   He had heavy

The Glass Eye
The joke was very funny She laughed a lot of tears When suddenly her eye fell out And landed in her beer   She fished around with her puddi

A Daschund Dog
My dog has a special twist, She can't go a day unkissed.   She's not a normal dog, Her furs the color of a log.   Her tails as pointy

Listen To Mum
I remember when I was small and cool, I was always playing truant from school. My mum used to say, "You'll regret it one day When you grow up to b

The Day I Fell In The Pool...
I never saw it coming I was such a fool It changed me completely The day I fell in the pool!   My friend started to laugh And I started to

The Life Of A Cupcake
They put me in the oven to bake. Me, a deprived and miserable cake. Feeling the heat, I started to bubble. Watching the others, I knew I was in tro

The Most Horrible Treat
It seemed like a good idea at the time, But looking back now I cringe just a little. I was so hungry and it WAS once mine, The week-old milk and pe

Deer And Beer
Look at that deer Man I am craving a beer He has a nice rack It is enough to give someone a heart attack Maybe later I will buy a six-pack of ligh

My Brother Can Eat
My brother can eat. Hide your fruits, Hide your snacks, Hide all your treats.   It doesn't matter what it is. Y'all don't understand. The

Monkey In The Middle
There once was a monkey in a city's zoo, who dreamed of the outside sun. He did like hitting kids with poo, but he felt that that's been done. &nb

The Horse Ride
Taking a romantic ride today, We sat upon the wagon. Suddenly the horse lifted his tail And we heard a roaring dragon!   The deafening sound

Home Alone
My family's gone; there's no one home. It's only me who's home alone. I shouldn't hear a single squeak. There shouldn't even be a creak,   S

Doggy Heaven
All doggies go to heaven (or so I've been told). They run and play along the streets of Gold. Why is heaven such a doggie-delight? Why, because the

A Dieter's Desire
Oh my soul, be thou quiet This is not 'another diet' Just a program of exchange Though some things do seem strange   Raw vegetables and 'bro

 

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